I swear I haven't forgotten about the mass pchat thing.
...not entirely, anyway. Uh..I didn't realise it was already past the 20th. And then..I wanted to get
ohmysky to join in too but she won't have internet for a while ;;
Possibly near the end of the month.
No guarantees though..with new year's day (my birthday!) coming, I might not have a full day of internet close to that time.
Speaking of birthdays, for once I'm not going all BAWWWWWWW over a birthday. Maybe it's because there are things I can expect, maybe it's because there won't be school on the next day, or both.
I still don't like the idea of growing older.
I'll be legal this coming year (and it's incredibly exact- I was born close to midnight, so my mum said) and..growing up is..bleh. Responsibilities and all.
I remember years ago I used to run around with digimon keychains, the ones where you can raise and battle digimon. I loved those. Everywhere there'd be some boy with a digimon keychain too, and my brother and I would just battle away. (my proudest achievement, by the way, was getting a megaseadramon.)
I wonder, where have those kids gone?
I suppose they went and grew up, and forgot about all these little things- sequences of buttons that were supposed to let your digimon win (the one I always pressed went CBACBACBACABA), killer numemons, randomly jogressing to see what you get..I remember them all.
It's still hard to believe. Does growing up meaning having to throw all these things away? You know- if anyone still played them, I'd carry digimon keychains to battle with them. Except they don't anymore.
Digimon, Beyblade, Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon cards..all the things I loved to play with as a kid. Everyone else grew up, but not me..I still want to play. It'd look weird though.
My brother, whom everyone calls immature at 16, is the only one I know IRL who would still go for these things now.
For the record, when I was 11 (Primary 6), nearing the end of school and there was nothing to do, I played Beyblade with the boys. I don't know what the other girls were doing. xD Gaia Dragoon was my favourite.
So I thought about it, and I think-
WHY THE HECK DO I NEED TO GROW UP ANYWAY.
Well, too bad. I'll go on liking these things, and checking out kids' toys forever. (Has anyone noticed how so-called girls' toys get worse and worse? Or maybe it's my general dislike for gender roles.) I'll just be more lonely than usual, I guess. (the next hottest thing seems to be Bakugan. I don't quite understand it.)
Life should just be the way I like it. Do what I like, even if it means I don't earn much, or have to work hard, as long as I can stand at the end, look back and be proud that I did more cool stuff than the average person. That the world is in some ways better, because I made it that way. In the end, fame and money are only means to whichever ends I choose- to know more people, to survive, to make the people I love happy, etc.
Here comes the 18th year of life. I suppose the media makes it all important sounding and all that, but that's just trash.(So's a lot of the things the media glorifies, and that I hate to the inner core of my being.) I won't feel any more grown-up than before. 18 used to be a target. A few years ago, the artists on the Internet that I respected were about 18 years old, and I made it my target to be just as good or better when I reach that age. Whether I've managed it or not is something else, though.
..ah, and drinking won't be illegal anymore..xD
For the past two years I've felt like an observer rather than a participant. So this is what normal people like to do- dress up and go to prom? Read Teenage and Seventeen magazines (to be honest, I thought no one in their right minds would. I was wrong, and horrified.)? Is this what they talk about? Is this what growing up means?
A less-than-fascinated observer. Time passed in a flash. This is why sometimes I tell people I'm 17, but mentally 15.
Something I've thought of time and again- my mum once told me that learning slows when you hit 15. I've desperately tried to deny it. ..and what would you know..my learning speed's been increasing. I think it's trainable. Which I will continue doing.
In all- here's to a good year ahead. Christmas is coming soon, so is the new year.
I didn't originally intend this to be an entry filled with a lot of thought, but I guess I needed to write this somewhere, and it just flowed out. Thanks a lot if you read it
............and I should stop sleeping late. (it's 3.30am heredlfskjk;ldj)
Oh and. Hackers. They're pretty awesome. In the actual, proper sense of the word "hacker". (don't misuse it!)
See here:
catb.org/esr/jargon/html/I almost cried reading that- their mindset and behaviour, I know far too well. To the point that it was slightly eerie. It prevented me from fitting in with much of the crowd (read: JC environment) but well, I suppose I have a reason to be proud of it.
needsleepnowlkdjlfkaj;lkdjf
Contact me:
#31414 on Wajas
CycloneX on Subeta.org (not very active)
CycloneX (#791) on World of Ai/forums
CycloneX (#71) on Aramii.com
CycloneX (#1199) on Digis (not very active)
Pellonius on Gaia (not very active)
Shinsaber on LiveJournal (mostly friendslocked but add me, I'll add you back)
Art status:
shikuroneku.deviantart.com/jou…Trades closed
Commissions open; info
shikuroneku.deviantart.com/jou…